If you look at Facebook groups related to dating, most questions in there are from women who complain men mistreated them in some way.
Either those men ghosted them, gave them confused messages, stopped communicating for days or weeks just to come back later, cheated, etc.
What all these women have in common? They probably all accepted less than they deserve from the very first time they met those men.
You see, there is a difference between being a man’s dream woman and being his placeholder.
What is a placeholder?
A placeholder is a woman who is not a man’s dream woman, she is just there in his life for his own benefit whilst he waits to meet his dream woman.
He is getting many benefits from her, like sex, emotional support, attention, validation, and sometimes even her resources.
He is in it for selfish reasons only, he has little to none emotional attachment to this woman, and will leave her quickly if he meets his dream woman.
What is a dream woman?
A dream woman is a man’s ideal type of woman, physically and emotionally.
Is not specifically related to a woman’s weight or have a certain hair color, or height. It is related to his perceves value of who she is.
Her feminine energy, the way she handles herself, her standards, is what makes her a man’s dream woman.
And all men are different and have different preferences, so you cannot do things to “become” a man’s dream woman. You are either seen that way or not by a man.
The best thing is to just be yourself, and the best version of yourself with high standards, and so you attract men who see you as their dream woman.
How men treat a woman who are not their dream woman
A man might not have bad intentions per se with a woman who he doesn’t see as his dream woman, but his motivation to treat her like a goddess just won’t be there because his heart isn’t in it.
So very often he will give just breadcrumbs to keep that woman as a placeholder in his life.
He will be inconsistent in his availability and communication, he will lack the desire to plan nice dates or impress her, will invite her only to cheap and lazy dates or Netflix and chill, he will be seeing other women, give her lots of excuses, and overall he will just not care.
Why? Well because he can. Because she allows it due to her lack of high standards and self esteem.
Very often those women who accept this are either in their princess energy and not in their queen energy.
This means that they accept just anything because they are wearing rose tinted glasses and ignoring red flags right from the beginning.
They are dating and relating to men from their wounded feminine energy and their fearful little inner child who seeks validation.
So they tend to accept scenarios that are a self fulfilling prophecy in itself because those men do not want or cannot fulfill their needs and will cause them pain. Pain that are familiar to them.
And so many women spend weeks, months or even years in this loop of attracting and accepting men who treat them as placeholders and blaming them.
Many women even marry those men who treat them as placeholders!
The thing is most of those women deep down know they are not the man’s dream woman, but they DO A LOT to become, like being always available, doing many things for those men, and basically lowering their own value even more.
They get more and more attached to the wrong man, whilst most men are very rational and practical and have no problem in quickly leaving them when they meet their dream woman.
That is why it is so important to heal, raise your self love and have high standards on what and whom you accept in your life.
When you are dating from your queen sovereign feminine energy, you know what you want and you don’t accept less than that. You recognize red flags quickly and the fact that man doesn’t see you as his dream woman, and you do NOTHING for him to see you that way, and you just say no to him and move on quickly.
How men treat a woman who are their dream woman
When a man sees a woman as his dream woman, his perceived value of her is very high.
He knows he has to treat her as a goddess, he has to be available and he has to impress her if he wants her in his life.
He will be consistent, he will communicate often, he will be a gentleman, he will be generous, he will protect her and provide for her, he will be all the things he is not to a placeholder.
That is why many women are surprised when they see their ex treating the next woman like a princess, something they always wished he did with them and he never did.
Because they were the placeholder and this next woman is his dream woman.
He will never be “busy” and disappear without a word, he won’t be unavailable (physically or emotionally).
He will plan nice dates, be proud to show her around, spoil her, and will feel like the luckiest man alive.
This is not to be confused with lovebombing done on purpose by certain men to reach a goal.
Those men are inconsistent, their energy is off and they will start to crack when you hold your boundaries. It is easy to vet them.
A man who sees you as his dream woman will be consistent, and his energy will come from his heart, not his ego. He is in it for the long run.
The thing is a high value feminine woman doesn’t need to do ANYTHING to be perceived as a man’s dream woman. She just is.
First of all, she is her own dream woman to herself!
Only date men who see you as their dream woman
When you are coming from a wounded feminine energy and seeking validation and attention from men (even if only subconciously) that’s when you accept men who treat you as a placeholder and have all those issues with men not treating you right.
But when you are sovereign in your feminine queen energy and do not need validation or superficial attention from men (and anyone else for that matter), that is when you can have high standards and not settle for less than you deserve.
You know the type of man you want, how you want to be treated, what you accept and not, and you can easily recognize a man who sees you as his dream woman, because he will make sure you know it!
So you can spot a man who sees you as his potential dream woman AND is ready for a serious relationship from the very moment you meet him (online or offline).
How he talks to you, how he shows genuine interest to get to know you, how he respects you, how he plans a nice date for you (and not just a $3 coffee at the cafe around the corner).
But above all, he will be consistent over time!
A feminine woman leans back and observe a man’s behaviour OVER TIME. She takes time to get to know a man and he needs to EARN her trust and his place in her life. Nothing is given freely and easily to him.
So that way you never end up in situations (or situationships) where you are treated as a placeholder.
You only accept men who treat you as royalty, and stop seeing breadcrumbs and dusty behaviour as normal.
Your new normal is to not have any questions about him because he makes sure you know how much wanted and adored you are to him.
It’s time to activate your dark feminine energy to uplevel your standards and your life, let go of placeholder energy and step into your amazing high value self!
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