Anxious or Avoidant? Heal Your Attachment System and Feel Secure in Your Feminine Energy

Our attachment system helps explain how early interactions with caregivers influence our patterns of relating to others, impacting everything from friendships and romantic partnerships to how we parent our own children.

Many people grow up without knowing this even exists or what are their own attachment system. And it is a big breakthrough when you find out.

Types of Attachment Styles:

1. Secure Attachment: Securely attached individuals typically have caregivers who are responsive and attuned to their needs.

These children feel safe exploring their environment and are easily comforted by their caregiver.

As adults, they tend to have healthier, more stable relationships and exhibit greater emotional resilience.

2. Anxious Attachment: This style often arises from inconsistent caregiving.

Children with anxious attachment may become extremely distressed when separated from their caregiver and are not easily comforted.

As adults, they may seek high levels of intimacy, approval, and responsiveness from partners, often fearing abandonment.

3. Avoidant Attachment: Avoidant attachment is generally a result of caregivers who are emotionally unavailable or unresponsive.

These children learn to suppress their emotional needs and maintain distance. In adulthood, avoidantly attached individuals might struggle with intimacy, preferring self-reliance and often avoiding emotional closeness.

4. Disorganized Attachment: Disorganized attachment is often linked to trauma or severe inconsistency in caregiving.

Children displaying this style exhibit contradictory behaviors, such as seeking comfort and then avoiding the caregiver.

As adults, they may experience significant difficulties in relationships and higher susceptibility to mental health issues.

Do you relate to any of these attachment styles?

The Impact of Attachment on Lifelong Relationships

Attachment theory underscores the lasting influence of early attachment experiences on an individual’s relational patterns and emotional health.

Secure attachment typically leads to more fulfilling and stable relationships, while insecure attachments can result in challenges in emotional regulation and relationship satisfaction.

Romantic Relationships: Securely attached individuals are generally better at managing conflicts and maintaining healthy boundaries.

In contrast, those with anxious attachment may exhibit clinginess and fear of rejection, while avoidant individuals might struggle with intimacy and commitment.

Parenting: Attachment styles often carry over into parenting practices.

Securely attached adults are more likely to create a supportive and nurturing environment for their children, promoting the development of secure attachment in the next generation.

Mental Health: Secure attachment is associated with lower levels of anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues.

Insecure attachment styles, particularly disorganized attachment, are linked to a higher risk of emotional and psychological difficulties.

Embodying Your Feminine Energy and Fostering Secure Attachment

It is positive to know that you have been a people pleaser and co-dependent due to your anxious attachment and so you seek partners who are avoidants like your parents or caregivers were, repeating the same familiar cycle.

Or maybe you are avoidant so you prefer casual and superficial relationships where you don’t need to be vulnerable and risk being rejected as you were as a child.

Or if you had a disorganized attachment, perhaps you are anxious near avoidant people, but shift to being avoidant near anxious people.

Whilst it’s good to understand what is your attachment style and what led to it, if you want to heal and embrace a secure attachment style, at some point you need to shift the focus from your parents or caregivers and how they were and treated you, and to yourself and your future.

Because the positive thing is that is totally possible to change your attachment system later in life if you decide so!

If you are a woman that has been living in an anxious, avoidant or disorganized attachment style, you have been most probably disconnected from your feminine energy and unbalanced.

You have been living in extremes. Either too eager and needy or too distant and dissociated, disconnected from yourself and the world around you.

The inner work you need to do is returning to your feminine energy, to your balance. So you can feel safe, emotionally available, joyful and secure.

Somehow in your childhood or teenage years you disconnected from your feminine energy and embraced survival mode: hustling, working hard, having to prove your value to others, or maybe had lack of self esteem and even depression were common things in your life.

Now it’s time to leave survival mode and start living and thriving!

Because you can only live your full potential, be both secure and emotionally available, fostering healthy and happy relationships, when you heal your attachment system and become secure.

You cannot reach that through other people, it is a personal and intimate relationship with yourself.

Is about going within and discovering who you truly are. Because your true self is secure.

Your feminine energy is the basis of you living your best life and feeling secure, as well as masculine energy is for men.

Some ways to start embracing your feminine energy and feeling secure:

– Start to listen to yourself and honour your needs

– Stop being concerned with pleasing others and focus on pleasing yourself

– Put your well being as a priority

– Connect to your heart and your emotions

– Know that the Universe is supporting you and you are always secure

– Put the focus on loving yourself and give yourself all the attention and validation you didn’t have

– Let your inenr child come out to play and heal! Be playful, enjoy your days

– Say no to whom and what kills your soul and do only what makes you joyful

– Start having boundaries and standards in your relationships

– Know that you will never reject or abandon yourself

– Only give your attention to who treats you with respect

– Re-parent yourself and be the mother and/or father you never had

– Engage in practices that enhance self-awareness, emotional regulation and calming down your nervous system

I talk all about how to embody your feminine essence and become secure in my book “Embody Your Sensual Feminine Energy”.

The Book “Embody your Sensual Feminine Energy” is the book you need to know how to let go of masculine traits, return to your femininity and live from your divine feminine essence.

This book will help you to make this energetic shift and navigate through the journey.

This is a book for deep healing that will take you through a journey of self-discovery and into a new energy.

Click here to get your book now