By: Carla Silva, founder of thefeminineenergy.com
It can be somehow curious how me as someone who built a whole website and business around feminine energy, comes here to say that embodying my feminine energy nearly made me depressed.
But that’s the truth, and I wrote this article to help you navigate embodying your own feminine energy and avoid the pitfalls I had.
When I first began my journey into feminine energy, I felt like I had finally discovered the missing piece of myself. After years of living in masculine overdrive — pushing, achieving, fixing, and carrying everything on my shoulders — it was refreshing to soften, to let go, and to allow myself to be.
But what I didn’t expect was that, in the process, I would fall into a kind of emotional trap that almost made me depressed.
The Resentment of Looking Back
As I slowed down and connected with my softer, more receptive side, I began to look back at all the things I had accepted in my past when I was in my wounded feminine self: unhealthy relationships, overworking, not setting boundaries, abandoning myself just to be loved or approved of.
Instead of feeling empowered, I found myself resentful — resentful of others, and resentful of myself for tolerating so much.
It was painful to hold all of that in my body. And because feminine energy work involves feeling deeply, I couldn’t hide from those emotions anymore. They surfaced in waves, sometimes leaving me feeling heavy and low.
So I’ve had to allow myself to feel it ALL! Because in order to release stuck emotions they need to be felt and processed, otherwise I would live in resenment all my life, becoming bitter and starting to have health problems due to that.
But the biggest breakthrough came when I finally forgave myself. For so long, I carried anger toward the people who had used and abused me—but the truth is, I was even more resentful toward myself for allowing it.
I had to come to terms with the fact that the old version of me simply didn’t have the clarity or awareness that I have today.
She was doing her best with what she knew at the time, trying desperately to be loved and validated, all while unconsciously repeating trauma patterns she didn’t even realize she carried.
So only after I forgave myself I was able to let go of the anger and resentment toward myself and all the people in my past and let them go. All of a sudden my past didn’t hold power over me anymore. I was free.
The Shadow Side of Receptivity
Another unexpected struggle came when I leaned too far into the idea of “receiving.”
Because feminine energy is all about being open to receive. Not hustling, not working hard or feeling exhausted, but being open to receive all the goodness in the world.
But instead of balance, I slipped into complacency.
I thought: If I’m in my feminine, things will just come to me. I don’t need to do anything — I just need to wait.
I went to the other extreme of instead working so many hours, I worked none. I just wanted to rest.
But whilst my body did indeed need resting, I started to feel entitled that the world owns me everything without me lifting a finger.
Even taking my dog out everyday started to feel like a chore that I didn’t want to do.
I thought I was in my feminine energy but in reality, I was neglecting the things that bring me joy — creating, moving my body, building projects that excite me, expressing myself, walking my dog and see him curious discovering the world.
My feminine energy practice started to feel like passivity, and passivity started to feel like emptiness which made me feel down and depressed.
I started questioning this whole feminine receiving and realised that feminine energy is not about entitlement or doing nothing.
It’s about not forcing yourself to work until exhaustion and do things that have no soul, but focus on the things that you are passionate about!
Because it is exactly when you do the things that light up your soul that you become magnetic in your feminine energy. You feel alive, you feel feminine.
And that energy radiates outside of yourself into the world and brings you back everything you need and desire.
The Balance I Had to Learn
What I came to realise is that feminine energy isn’t about doing nothing. It’s about doing from a different place.
It’s not about sitting and waiting for life to happen or feeling entitled that now I get to do nothing and to have it all, it’s about living with alignment, softness, pleasure, and flow.
Feminine energy needs movement, inspiration, and expression just as much as it needs rest, softness, and surrender. Without the balance, I lost touch with the very passions that make me feel alive.
How I Recentered Myself
The turning point came when I began to blend both feminine and masculine energies inside of me instead of rejecting one for the other.
I allowed myself to rest and receive, but I also began to act on my inspirations — not with force, but with joy. I started writing again. I started growing my business again. I started exercising again.
I let myself dance instead of just meditate. I reached out to people who inspired me instead of waiting for them to find me.
I realized that the true feminine is not passive — she is deeply alive, expressive, connected, and radiant. And she uses her own masculine energy to give her structure and direction.
She attracts not by sitting still and doing nothing, but by being so in love with her life and her essence that opportunities, people, and love are naturally drawn to her.
Embodying feminine energy and going from a wounded feminine to a healthy feminine self is a beautiful and healing path, but like any journey, it has its shadows.
I had to walk through resentment and complacency to discover that real feminine power is not about avoiding action, nor is it about ignoring pain.
It’s about healing and embracing life fully — both the softness and the spark, both the surrender and the expression.
And when I found that balance, my feminine energy no longer felt heavy. It became the light that guides me forward.
What about your own journey of embodying your feminine energy? Have you felt or are feeling any of this? Share it in the comments below, I would love to hear from your experience. 🙂
Want to embody your feminine energy? I created a wonderful book to help you do that.
Click here to get your feminine energy book!
