Being a single mom is definitely not an easy task.
Besides having all the parental responsibilities, you also have work, taking care of the house, do the shopping, meals, run errands, etc.
It is a lot to do so no wonder you are a lot in your masculine energy of getting things done.
The thing is, for a woman, being too much in this masculine energy for too long can make you exhausted.
It can also activate your nervous system often, making you cranky, too serious, with chronic pain, gaining weight, feeling anxious, and basically just losing the joy of life because you are in a constant rush and stressed to get things done.
It comes a time where you just want to have fun, to rest, and to enjoy life.
In other words, you miss being in your feminine energy and being provided for, instead of having to provide for yourself and your kids all the time.
Although women do of course have masculine energy and can use it very well, their core is feminine.
Feminine energy should be the main energy in a woman’s life, and masculine energy should be a small % only.
When is the other way around, there is a lack of balance.
Even highly successful women who run their businesses, deep down feel exhausted and lonely and feel like something is missing.
The truth is women are not wired like men. We cannot be in a masculine energy for too long, is just not our true nature.
So if you are a single mom and want to know how to calm down your nervous system and shift from a masculine energy to living in a feminine energy, here are some great tips:
1. Ask for Help
Many single moms are so much in their masculine energy of doing that they don’t want (or remember) to ask for help.
So, if you have people in your life who can help you, take advantage of that. Ask your parents or your friends if they can stay with your kids or help in any way.
Check in your area for playgroups or kids clubs where you can leave your kids to play and you can go for a manicure or just have a coffee with your girlfriends.
Asking for help is a feminine energy. A feminine woman communicates her desires and allows other people to help and provide for her.
2. Order food or hire a chef
If cooking meals are a true nightmare for you, consider ordering food, or if you can, hire a chef to cook your daily meals or cook them and freeze for the whole week in advance.
So that way you have peace of mind not having to go shopping, deciding what to eat and cooking, saving you precious time to rest or just play with your kids.
3. Get a babysitter or an “au pair”
Get an “au pair” to help you at home at all times so you can rest, or hire a babysitter once in a while so you can take some needed me time or go on a date.
Check what is available around you and find someone you can trust so you have help and peace of mind.
4. Take time to rest and pamper yourself as a priority
Make sure to take time to take care of yourself daily or at least weekly.
Go for a manicure or a massage, a yoga class, take a bubble bath, dance, take a nap, read a book, or just do nothing!
In other words, take time to conciously be in your feminine energy and not doing any tasks.
5. Connect with your body and your senses
Being in your feminine energy has a lot to do with being in your body and feeling all your senses and intuition.
Masculine energy is focused on doing, not on feeling.
Feminine energy feels the world from her senses. So connect to how your body feels. In other words, live life in a more sensual way at all times.
Enjoy the taste of food, how your clothes feel, the warm water running down your body in the shower, the sun kissing your face outside, enjoy that nice cup of tea, walk the dog and talk to other dog owners, etc.
Do some activities that connect you to your body and how it feels like yoga, dancing, walk barefoot in nature, etc.
Then bring that awareness to all moments in your daily life.
So instead of just being in your masculine energy of “getting things done”, make every situation a reason to enrich your life by connecting your senses and FEEL life.
Doing this will also connect you more with your intuition, so you can follow it and feel aligned in your life.
6. Do only what you can and respect your energy
We all have a limited amount of energy on a daily basis, some people more than others.
You need to know what your levels of energy are and respect them.
This means that you end to set priorities on what really needs to be done, like taking and getting your kids to school, work, etc, and don’t schedule more things to do that go beyond your energy levels.
Just learn to say no to other people’s requests and also to your urge to do more.
7. Sleep well
Sleeping is crucial for you to be in your feminine energy and flowing.
Otherwise you’ll feel even more exhausted with everything you need to do on a daily basis and will end up cranky and not enjoying life.
Make sure you sleep all the hours you need, even if that means going to bed at the same time as your kids.
8. Let men provide for you
Choose to date men who are true masculine providers.
Men who are in their healthy masculine energy and love to provide and take care of a woman.
Step into your feminine energy around these men and let them plan dates, pick you up, pay for the dates, offer you gifts or help of any kind and make your life much easier.
Stay away from men who are beta males and want to be provided for, want you to plan dates and do things, or predators who want to feed on your energy, and other unhealthy masculine types.
Wait for the man who is genuine, respects your boundaries and treats you like royalty, so you can relax in your feminine energy.
9. Stop multitasking and engage your senses
Women are great at multitasking, but that means very often that you are spreading yourself too this and are not really focused on anything, you are in robot mode.
This will drain you completely.
Instead, do one thing at a time. Engage your senses in what you are doing.
For example if you are washing dishes, pay attention to what you are doing, feel the water running in your hands and how so relaxing it feels.
If you are watering your flowers and plants, take some time to appreciate their beauty, their smell, touch them and see how they feel.
Engaging your senses in everything you do is a great way to step out of your “get things done” masculine energy and allow your feminine energy to come alive, whilst at the same time getting things done.
10. Engage your kids
This of course depends on the age of your kids, but you can engage them in the household tasks in a fun way.
Let them help you cook. Buy some prepared pizza dough and have fun with the kids adding the toppings.
Give them some tasks like watering the plants or walking the dog outside.
In other words, turn boring household tasks into something fun, step into your feminine energy and have a good time with them, allowing yourself to strenghten your bond in the process.
This is so much better than you in your masculine energy doing everything yourself whilst your kids are in their room playing Playstation.
10. Slow down and be more soft
There’s a saying that if you don’t have 10 minutes to meditate, then you need to meditate for 1 hour.
What this basically means is that if you live in a constant hurry you need to slow down.
Masculine energy is an energy of getting things done. In a fast and efficient way.
So start doing things in a slower pace, walk slower, and talk slower to your kids and other people.
Also, be more soft and understanding to yourself, your kids and others.
That doesn’t mean your kids can do whatever they want at all times. You can and should have boundaries and give them direction, but do it in a soft and nurturing way.
This might feel awkard at first, but what this does is calming down your nervous system.
If you are all the time in a masculine energy and stressed about getting things done, your nervous system will be activated often, getting you anxious and stressed.
Slowing down will make you feel more calm and you’ll be surprised how things will still get done very well!
11. Learn how to step into masculine or feminine energy as you need
It’s important that you conciously choose to be in your masculine or in your feminine energy according to the situation.
For example you can deliberately choose to be in your masculine energy to do your work, or go to the gym, but then also shift the next moment and deliberately choose to be in your feminine energy to rest or go meet a friend for a coffee.
Or be in your masculine energy to go pick up your kids from school and take care of them, but then shift to your feminine energy to nurture and play with them.
Learn to do this shift and choose the energy you are in on a conscious way.
12. Stop the perfeccionism
Being perfeccionist and wanting everything to be perfect, like the house cleaned all the time, etc, comes from masculine energy. And from a need to control everything.
That need to control is you wanting to calm down your activated nervous system.
Like, when everything is done and perfect, you’ll be able to rest.
But guess what? That will never happen. And certainly not with kids!
Maybe your or your cleaner just finished cleaning the kitchen and is all perfect and sparkling, just for the next moment the kitchen being a mess because your 6 year old decided to do a sandwich.
Or your dog just decided to do his needs on the front door.
Just accept that wanting everything perfect is an illusion and is self-sabotaging. It will also make you cranky, anxious and out of control.
Just accept that things are as they are, and sometimes a bit of a mess is just a sign that people are living and enjoying life.
Switch wanting everything perfect to being in your feminine energy through acceptance and rest. Your nervous system will calm down immediately.
13. Get out of your routine and comfort zone
Having daily structured routines to follow is a very masculine energy, especially if it is rigid.
And very often those routines become your comfort “unconfortable” zone.
It can make you feel all is controlled and predictable, but it also removes all the joy out of life, because it is made to get things done, not to feel and enjoy life.
Although having a routine is needed in order to accomodate school and work schedules, it is also important to get out of that routine and comfort zone often.
Do new things you have never done before, either alone, with your friends, dating, or your kids.
Travel to a new destination, go out to have dinner on a week night if you always eat at home, go to a fun kids attraction at the weekend, etc.
Trying new and different things will engage your senses and your inner child, making you step naturally into a feminine energy and enjoying life!
14. Set up Automation Systems
Set up as many automated systems you can, such as: use Alexa, subscribe for monthly on-going items to receive them automatically at home, use apps to organize finances, set up direct debits to pay bills, use social media scheduling tools to post on social media for your business, etc.
Have as many systems in place as you can, to save you time, energy (and money too), and to give you peace of mind.
15. Engage your feminine energy even when doing things from your masculine
When you learn to conciously choose to be in your masculine or in your feminine energy, you can also learn how to engage your feminine energy even when using your masculine energy to get things done.
Some tips:
- Be fully in the present moment and focused on the task at hand
- Engage your senses: don’t just do, feel what you are doing
- Slow down: do things at a slower pace
- Listen to how your body feels: if you are starting to feel really tired, don’t force yourself to continue and just stop and rest
- Instead of just being in your masculine energy of “getting things done”, make every situation a reason to enrich your life by connecting your senses and FEEL life.
16. Validate your feelings
As a single mom, so often we put our kids and everything else as a priority and don’t validade how we fell.
But, guess what, your feelings MATTER.
Because feelings are your feminine energy. It’s how the feminine enjoys life.
So listen to how you feel.
When you listen to how you feel and validate your feelings, you’ll also listen more to how your kids feel.
You’ll be truly connected to them, and they will feel your presence and your understanding.
You’ll be emotionally available and open to yourself and to them. And to life.
I truly hope these tips help you as a single mom to be more in your feminine energy and start enjoying life in the NOW, not only in the future when your kids are adults.
Being in your feminine energy is also allowing yourself to receive. Receive from the Universe, from other people, from money, from a wonderful provider man, from abundance and prosperity!
Simply because you are following your true nature.
