I am aware now that most of my life I was very much in a masculine energy of protecting and providing for myself.
I didn’t want help from others or trusted other people, and always had this need to prove myself I can do it.
I am aware now that I acquired this in my child/teenager years because my mother always wanted me to feel helpless and small, so she’ll always have control over me.
I developed this energy as a way to escape. But I escaped my true nature instead.
I let go of most of my feminine qualities like nurturing, being sweet and soft, and also receiving from others.
I was always on a combative mode. And attracted many abusive people, which only confirmed I needed to be in that protective energy even further.
If you too relate to this, this article is for you.
To all grown-up women who have been in a masculine energy since they were a child, because not only they didn’t have the protection and being provided for properly at all levels (and especially emotionally).
First of all, what is being in this masculine energy and wounded feminine energy (aka the mother wound)?
If you had a narcissistic mother, chances are that she groomed you from an young age to feel responsible for her well-being and happiness.
So instead of helping you learn how to care of yourself and help you bloom as an independent woman, she teached you to become co-dependent and take care of her.
She ruined your self-esteem, so you think nothing of yourself and live to please her.
The toxic environment you lived in also always felt unsafe. Your nervous system was always being activated.
So you started to ignore your feminine traits like sweetness, softness, trusting others, relaxing, and stepped into your masculine energy in order to provide and protect.
If you didn’t have a father around you or had one that had a wounded masculine energy and wasn’t able to protect and provide for you, this was even worse.
Your wounded feminine energy would appear by either you feeling helpless or being a warrior, always doing, doing, hustling and exhausted.
Later on, you started to be in this masculine energy to also protect you and provide for others.
You would attract other narcissists like boyfriend/husbands, friends, co-workers, business partners, clients, etc. What you were familiar with your mom would show up in other people.
So, you always had this internal conflict between providing for others and protecting you from them at the same time.
This is basically a mix between your own masculine energy and a wounded feminine energy.
Also, being in your masculine energy always repelled healthy people that truly wanted to give to you in a genuine way, without any agenda.
Because you just couldn’t trust and receive without unhealthy patterns.
Stepping into your Divine Feminine Goddess Energy
To reach this stage in their lives, many women have passed through the helpess feminine energy and the providerfeminine energy, both wounded feminine energies.
In the helpess energy, you would be in denial of your mother’s true nature and how it impacted you. You would continue dealing with her as a co-dependent.
In the provider feminine energy, you would start to fight back. That is the time for arguments, going no contact, but then come back many times. Deep down you are still in denial and believe she could change.
When you are ready to step into your divine feminine goddess, that’s the time where the denial and the fantasies die.
You finally accept your mother as she is and completely detach from her.
You start to see her as a complete individual with whom you have ZERO responsibility to.
You develop healthy boundaries, and you start calming down your nervous system by stepping into your sovereignity.
This is the time where you stop being a participant in a movie you never wanted to be in, and start watching it from the outside, observing. Your identity is no longer attached to your mother or those patterns.
This is also the time you no longer have arguments or drama. You protect and respect your energy and you just step back, very often going no contact forever, or very limited contact.
This is the time you reclaim your beautiful and healthy feminine energy.
That energy you once had when you were a small child, before being conditioned.
The happiness, the joy, the relaxing knowing you are safe and provided for at all times by a higher power.
You reclaim your sweetness, your softness, your trusting in others. Because now you have strong standards and boundaries on how you want to be treated, and you know how to recognize the right people to stay in your life and say no quickly to all the others.
You most probably have a womb awakening at this stage, connecting your sacral and heart chakras for the first time ever in your life.
You are no longer co-dependent or feel responsible for other people, so you don’t accept anyone quickly in your life, and you take the time to see how people treat you, and only accept them in your life when they showed you time and time again they treat you with respect and love.
You still use your masculine energy but in a healthy way, like to do inspired work, take care of your children or protect you from certain situations if needed.
This is also the time when you finally open up to RECEIVE.
Receive all the abundance and prosperity that are your birthright and never came fully to you because you weren’t open to receive.
This is time to reclaim your health, lose the extra weight you gained because you wanted to feel safe, to manifest an overflow of money, healthy and genuine friends, a healthy masculine provider man who will treat you as a queen, and all the wonderful things in life you always deserved!
There are no more blockages and through the Law Of Attraction you’ll start manifesting amazing things.
You are opening to finally relax and receive from other people, and letting go of that armour and combative mode, stepping into the flow of life.
You left survival mode, starting to fully live!
Are you ready!?
