By: Mireille Theriault
I still remember the moment I first saw the man who would become my husband.
There was an instant connection, a spark that felt effortless. I was light-hearted, full of life, and completely in the moment when we started dating.
I was simply “being”.
Plus, I took care of myself, felt confident in my own skin, and let our connection unfold naturally.
What I didn’t realize at the time was that I was fully in my Feminine Energy. [Honestly, I didn’t even know what that meant back then…]
And let me tell you, it worked like magic!
My husband—then just the new guy I was dating—was completely drawn to me. He planned dates, pursued me with excitement, talked about our future together, and made me feel cherished.
Everything felt easy, fun, and full of possibility.
But as time went on, I slowly started to shift without even realizing it.
While years 1 to 3 as a couple were amazing, our bond didn’t feel as strong by the time we got to years 4 to 6.
We were on shaky ground.
I started worrying about where the relationship was going. Instead of enjoying the moment, I became consumed with what might happen in the future.
My confidence started to waver, and I felt insecure about us. I got into problem-solving mode [aka Masculine Energy] and tried to “fix” things.
I found myself overanalyzing his every word, questioning his intentions, and trying to control the way he showed up in the relationship.
The more I pushed, the more distant he became.
I suggested we go to Couples Therapy but he refused.
It wasn’t until I learned about Feminine Energy that everything clicked again. I had unknowingly abandoned the very energy that had drawn him to me in the first place.
And in doing so, I almost lost the relationship entirely!
What Is Feminine Energy in Dating?
Before I tell you how I turned things around, let’s talk about what Feminine Energy actually is.
In relationships, we often hear about the balance of Masculine and Feminine Energy. While both exist in everyone, most women feel their best when they embrace their natural Feminine Energy.
I can attest to this—I did not feel good during the low point of dating my husband. Something was off and my energy was the biggest factor.
Feminine energy is:
- Receptive, rather than chasing or forcing
- Playful, light-hearted, and spontaneous
- Intuitive, deeply feeling, and empathetic
- Focused on being rather than doing
Masculine Energy, on the other hand, is action-oriented, structured, and focused on pursuing goals.
In dating, men who are naturally more in their Masculine Energy are deeply drawn to Feminine Energy. It creates polarity, chemistry, and a sense of effortless connection.
When I lost myself in my relationship, I noticed my husband was no longer showing up in the same energy. He’ll confirm that it didn’t feel good for him, either.
So why did I lose my Feminine Energy?
Simple: I wasn’t being intentional or letting my intuition guide me.
I let fear, insecurity, and the need for control take over.
Also, I didn’t have the skills or the knowledge.
How I Lost My Feminine Energy (And Almost My Relationship!)
At first, it was a whirlwind romance. But as time passed, I lost my power.
I started trying to control the direction of the relationship instead of trusting the natural flow—and myself.
I became overly analytical, worrying about his every move, his behavior, and where we stood.
By this point, he was spending more time at work, with his friends and pursuing other hobbies.
I was emotionally reactive, getting upset over small things and seeking reassurance.
There was a pivotal moment where I was so emotional, I didn’t even recognize who I was anymore!
I neglected my own self-care and happiness, focusing too much on him instead of me.
One time, I was out with my girlfriends and one of them suggested we do a weekend getaway without the men in our lives. I didn’t even want to go!
Arguments because a daily occurrence. It didn’t matter what I said, my partner would get defensive, withdraw even more and often give me the silent treatment.
Looking back, I realize I had shifted into a more masculine, controlling energy. Instead of simply receiving his love and presence, I was trying to force things into place.
And he felt it.
His enthusiasm started to wane…
Our connection became strained. I could feel the distance, and it terrified me.
The Feminine Energy Shift That Changed Everything
Just when I thought I might lose him or have to end it myself, I discovered the concept of Feminine Energy.
And I made a choice: I was going to shift back into the version of myself that he fell in love with—the one who was confident, playful, and radiant.
Not only for the sake of our relationship but in my best interest.
Here’s what I did:
- I stopped trying to control the relationship and surrendered to the moment.
- I embraced self-care and self-love, focusing on my own happiness.
- I regulated my emotions, choosing to respond instead of react.
- I became more receptive, allowing him to step up and lead again.
And guess what? The dynamic between us shifted almost immediately.
Suddenly, he was pursuing me with enthusiasm again. He started making more plans, expressing more love, and stepping into his Masculine Energy fully.
By then we had been together for 7 years and he [finally] wanted to fully commit—without me having to push for it.
Not long after, he proposed and 6 months later we were married!
How to Keep Your Feminine Energy from Day One
If there’s one thing I wish I had known earlier, it’s this: Feminine Energy isn’t just for attracting the right man—it’s for keeping him, too.
I highly recommend all women embrace their Feminine Energy regardless of their relationship status.
If you’re single, fully own it now. If you’re dating or in a relationship, soften into it immediately so you can experience that Happily Ever After you’ve always dreamed of.
Here’s how you can embody Feminine Energy from the start:
- Stay in the present. Stop overanalyzing the future and enjoy the moment.
- Let him lead. Be receptive and allow him to step into his masculine role.
- Take care of yourself first. Confidence, joy, and self-love are magnetic.
- Regulate your emotions. Stay grounded and choose peace over reactivity.
- Trust the process. Love flows best when you stop trying to force it.
Looking back, I’m grateful for the journey I went through. Because of it, I learned one of the most powerful lessons about love: The energy you bring to a relationship determines its success.
So, to every woman reading this: Trust yourself. Stay in your Feminine Energy. And let love come to you effortlessly.
Because when you do, the right man won’t just stay—he’ll choose you for life!
xo
Mireille Nicole
Mireille Theriault is a certified relationship coach and founder of Mireille Nicole Coaching, helping high-achieving women create fulfilling love lives and realize they have so much more power than they currently think.
Since 2019, she’s guided women through dating, relationships, and marriage with confidence and grace. Connect with her on YouTube and Instagram: @MireilleNicoleCoaching or get in touch.
